Aquarius: Adrian Peterson is available for baby sitting this week!
Pisces: Use your Groupon to get that awesome Russian bride that loves over-weight guys and fantasy football!
Aries: If your dog craps on the west side of your lawn it’s a sign that Michael Vick is gonna start this week.
Taurus: Put the game on in Spanish and try and listen for the hidden “Cucuy” reference. PS: This only applies to Mexican Taurus’
Gemini: Throw some macaroni and cheese at the TV screen every time Tom Brady goes back to pass and you’ll put a hex on him. However, it only works if you hit him in the groin.
Cancer: Its October cancer! Pink is the cure… Actually, its just a marketing tool, you still have cancer.
Leo: Your winning numbers are 13, 18, 21, 26, 37 and power-ball 4. I’m 90% sure I’m right.
Virgo: Steal Leo’s ticket!
Libra: Call your mother-in-law and talk with her for hours… For good luck.
Scorpio: Start anyone you have on a “bye”. Just to mess with the other guys head.
Sagittarius: Yell louder and louder at the TV every time the ref gets a call wrong! It gets the point across.
Capricorn: Ask your wife if she “loves you the way she did when you first got married”, but tell her to answer during the commercial.
Saturday, October 4, 2014
Friday, September 26, 2014
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